2. Needs

a. physical (including safety)

b. emotional - love, friendship, respect, to be valued, wanted, included in family

c. spiritual - meaning, significance, value of life

3. Exercises of the imagination

a. my goals for my children, myself - to what age? - including my old age - see elderly as

older edition of myself - see elderly as having goals

b. build child's self-respect/love ("Love your neighbor as yourself), positive self-image via

respect from others - elderly need (and deserve) respect

c. child-parent conflict - child starts from emotion+desire+ignorance - knowledge gradually increases but emotion+desire remain ("I have been 30 but you have never been 52!") - same

e. help needy stranger vs. relative - see my own elderly as opportunity to help

4. Choice of care implies motivation of "chesed" (lovingkindness); need to look for opportunities to expand that chesed because: (a) show the next generation the value of chesed; (b) clarify our actions to prepare for our own needs from our children; (c) chesed is the purpose of creation, to imitate G-d's chesed. Psychological barriers to chesed are opportunities for spiritual growth.

5. Choice of Jewish care implies Jewish identity important to elderly; Jewish value of all aspects of life and care should be made apparent.

6. Applications - to accomplish 2b and 2c

a. be part of family decision process - consult for perception, opinion

b. (volunteer) advisors for business, law, nutrition - any expertise or competence

c. surrogate grandparents to children in need

d. charity work

e. study of Torah and application to their life conditions