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LOVE AND MARRIAGE 1. Yitzchok and Rivka - criteria for marriage - shared values/world- view, suitabililty for life together; love after marriage-commitment 2. Yaakov and Rachel - preparation and completness - significance of seven - same marriage criteria as (1) 3. Marriage as partnership/project and creation of minimal human a. Adam as androgynous - individual men/women incomplete b. contrast self-completion with supplementation in creating new unit (duet) c. three levels of integration: I + I - cooperation for individual advantage - business We - members act for group advantage - sports, music, political action I - parts of organic unity - what each part does is done by the unit - functional definition of unit, action ascribed to the whole - examples: counting furniture, limbs of the musician
d. social work application of the three stages e. Responsibility to strive to create the I - contrast Western passivity ("falling in love"; "trial marriage" statistics) f. love as a result of effort and success in building the single I - need for constant integration - life's necessarily devisive experiences
4. Practical consequences - challenge to develop the I a. boring conversation - listening to the person b. giving the chance to give - balence between giving and receiving, forgiving the other, two lists for suitablity c. balence between similarities and differences |